


I Could Hold You for Forever

by Nny11



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Established Relationship, F/F, Happy Ending, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Married Couple, Nightmares, No Sex, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Separation Anxiety, Temporary Character Death, Tumblr Prompt, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, mentions sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:42:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23531023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nny11/pseuds/Nny11
Summary: Glimmer wakes from a nightmare and can't find the one person she needs to comfort her.
Relationships: Catra/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 110





	I Could Hold You for Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Darfnargin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darfnargin/gifts).



> Place your hands on my face  
> Close my eyes and say  
> Love is a poor man's food  
> With no proper side  
> I could hold you in my arms  
> I could hold you forever

Glimmer blinks awake slowly, one agonizingly long second after another as she struggles to the surface. Her head is full of cotton and her chest is full of broken glass. And while she can feel the pain all over her body it, oddly enough, doesn’t hurt. Her vision clears and Glimmer looks around the room, no, her bedroom? Yes. Bedroom. She just didn’t recognize it in all the white and green. When did it get white and green? She furrows her brow trying to think and the answer comes back vaguely as ‘years’.

“Well, well, well, her majesty graces us once more.”

The whole world spins uncomfortably as she turns to look, swallowing back vomit using nothing but sheer will.

Horde Prime sits in a gaudy, awful wing-back chair next to her bed. His smile so cold that it feels warm. His eyes blink all slightly off from one another before he laughs. “My apologies, you just seem...so confused. It’s rather entertaining.”

Glimmer wants to scream, wants to fight, wants to spit fire. But her body, once sluggish, is almost frozen now. Her heart kicks painfully as fear washes over her in overlapping waves, like drowning out at sea. She can’t move. Why can’t she **move**?

Prime chuckles, his sharp claw like fingers plucking feather after feather out of the pillow in his lap. Only ever pausing to look at her, clearly amused by her weakened state.

It takes effort, more effort than she’s ever put into anything to speak. Her head pounds as she does and her throat feels swollen. “Wh-what-”

“What happened?” Prime asks, face dropping into an exaggerated look of false concern. “Don’t you remember princess?”

The throbbing headache feels almost hollow and fire traces down her back. “No.”

Prime sneers at her, twirling a particularly large brown feather between his fingers as he delicately shifts one leg over the other. “You never were very smart, were you Sparkles?”

Glimmer squints at him, her racing heart and nausea pushed aside as she tried to focus. Something is wrong. It's Prime but it doesn't quite sound like him, like another voice is just under his. Why is he here? What happened? “I…”

Prime chuckles, still twirling the long strand of brown hair between his fingers before flicking it at her face. It’s rough and course, but one end lands warm and sticky on her cheek. She tries to lift a hand and pull it off but can’t. Horde Prime watches her for a moment before pulling another clump of hair out. This time Glimmer can see the bit of flesh still attached to it. This doesn’t make sense, a pillow doesn’t have hair. She looks again and gives a strangled scream.

Catra’s limp body hangs to one side of the chair, eyes turned towards her sightlessly as Prime cradles her head in his lap. Half her mane is gone, leaving a bloody mess behind as he plucks again and again. She doesn’t twitch. Doesn’t stir. And Glimmer knows that she’s dead. 

Horde Prime just smiles, doesn’t even look at the body in his hands as he plucks, plucks, plucks. Each pinch of hair thrown her way. Her ears are ringing as she stares, can’t look away, wants to look away. It hurts! It _b u r n s_ -

Glimmer twitches as she wakes, softly panting and wild eyed as she stares at the ceiling of her bedroom. Purple and pink and blue and gold. She runs through the colors over and over again. Purple, pink, blue, and gold. Trying to ground herself somewhere as she starts to tear up, trembling as she fights herself. Those are the right colors, she’s home in Brightmoon, and Horde Prime is gone. He never came to Brightmoon, never set foot on Etheria before they trapped him in despondos. She sniffles and both wishes that Catra would wake up and comfort her, and prays that her wife is dead asleep for once. She shouldn’t bother her with something as silly as a dream. Glimmer winces, fuck that’s wrong, they’re supposed to talk about these things aren’t they?

She slowly, carefully rolls over. If Catra’s asleep, she’ll wait until the morning. Catra gets _maybe_ a few hours of sleep a night on a good night, and Glimmer will not willingly take that away. If she’s awake, she’s probably waiting for a cue from Glimmer on if it’s okay to touch her. And if there’s one thing she could use right now it’s a hug.

But Catra isn’t there.  
  
Glimmer freezes for just a moment. Lying in the same position she was in in her dream causes her stomach to roil. Then the adrenaline hits. She kicks the covers aside, fumbling to stand. They’d lowered her bed practically to the ground so either of them could get up without waking the other with lights, sounds, and shaking the hanging mattress. It makes it easier when then need to get up quickly, and Glimmer is grateful as she staggers towards the bathroom.

Catra’s probably in there taking a shower. Or a bath. She likes the warmth of the water when she isn’t feeling well. Likes the sensation as it hits her skin or the way her whole body gets lighter and floats. There’s no sound as she reaches the door, so it has to be a bath right? Right! She flings the door open too fast and too hard, it bounces off the stone wall with a horrible bang.

It’s dark.

Full out panic hits her as she stares into the gloom. This can’t be happening. Where is she? Is she okay? Is she alive? Glimmer knows she must be, it’s silly to think otherwise, but it doesn’t matter what she knows logically. 

She teleports.

The balcony is empty, and as soothing as the cool breeze is she can’t stay there. The kitchen is empty, which is actually odd in itself. What if she’s the only one left in the castle? What if everyone else left or-or-or was kidnapped? It’s just the sort of sick game Prime would play if he escaped the pocket dimension! The library is empty. The top shelves are empty. The star tower is empty. Finally she sees two guards when she teleports to the throne room.

“Ma’am!” One of them half shouts, throwing a salute as their partner jerks awake. “What’s-”

“Have you seen Catra?” Glimmer doesn’t care how desperate and scared she sounds, this is important!

“Cat- uh, no your majesty she hasn’t-”

The atrium is empty. The bridge is, thankfully empty, and when Glimmer goes under it there’s no body. She’s not at the lake. She’s not at the gardens. She’s not in Adora’s room, and Glimmer has never been more grateful that Adora can sleep through her teleporting around. The last thing any of them need is Adora panicking that Catra’s missing. That would be a disaster...but if she can’t find her wife real damn soon, she might come back to brainstorm.

She’s blinking around so quickly that the castle blurs together, she doesn’t know where she is just that it’s not where Catra is. Popping into existence for seconds to look before going to another spot. If she goes quick enough she’ll have to find her right? Right!? She’s made another jump and is whirling around to check when something slams into her side, sending her tumbling to the floor. Glimmer instinctively teleports before hitting the stone floor, and instead smacks into the wall of her bedroom.

Someone is holding onto her and Glimmer almost starts to struggle, except that Catra is panting for breath and shaking like a leaf. Claws digging painfully into her ribs. And it’s the best thing Glimmer has ever felt in her whole life.

She turns quickly, forcefully moving around, not caring if she cuts herself. Catra gasps and lets go before that can happen, which is just the opening she needs to grab her wife.

Which is excellent timing, because Glimmer can’t stop herself from crying as soon as she’s buried her face in Catra’s neck.

Catra rocks them both side to side, squeezing Glimmer tight just the way she likes. She presses soft kisses on Glimmer’s hair and temple, and lets her cry wordlessly until she’s gotten it out of her system.

Glimmer sniffles and hates that she’s gotten snot gunked up in Catra’s thin layer of fur.

“Hey, what happened?” Catra whispers. Waits until she realizes that Glimmer isn’t ready to talk yet. So she tells her side of the story instead. “I couldn’t sleep and got some tea in the dining hall, when I got back you were gone. You weren’t in the bathroom or on the balcony, and I went to the kitchens but you weren’t there and-”

Glimmer chuckles weakly, “You weren’t in bed or the bathroom or the balcony, so I went to the kitchen too.”

Catra huffs a small laugh, still whispering as she continues, “Yeah, when I got to the throne room the guards said I’d just missed you. I saw you popping around out one of the windows and kind of assumed you were...freaking the fuck out.”

This time her laugh is a little more real, a little more full. Both from the phrasing and from the fact that once Catra had learned what curse words were, she’d taken to them as voraciously as Glimmer had.

“You are not wrong.”

Catra scoffs at her. “Uh, you can just say I was _right_ you know? It wouldn’t kill you.”

“Yes it would,” Glimmer leans back and wipes at her eyes and nose, “I’d drop dead right here and how would that look?”

“You say that like I wouldn’t stage your body to save my skin.” Catra lets go to hold both her hands up in mock surrender. “I don’t know what happened, one moment we were having fucking wild, _bangin’_ sex and then-”

“Bitch!” Glimmer punches lightly, aiming best she can in the dark with her arms shaking for her sensitive tits.

“What the hell Sparkles?”

Prime’s voice echoes just a hair behind. It’s like ice water and Glimmer goes quiet, moving closer to grab Catra’s hands.

“I had a dream about Prime.”

Catra flinches, hands tightening and pupils shrinking as she quickly scans the room. As if she’ll find him lurking here just because Glimmer dreamt it. “Do you wanna...talk about it?”

“He killed you.”

“Ah.”

It’s not an uncommon dream between them, just always shifted a few inches to the right or left depending on who had it.

Catra swallows thickly, her voice thin, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up.”

Glimmer hates the way Catra apologizes. Not that her technique is awful after all the apologies she had to give when she’d first started living here. But after learning more about what her actions had done to everyone here, well, it turns out Adora isn’t the only one who has trouble figuring out if she’s responsible for someone else's pain or not. While Catra still gets defensive at times, when it comes to Glimmer, she takes it on. Like every woe that’s ever befallen her was Catra’s fault.

She struggles with herself to not snap or sound angry, exhaustion rolling through her whole body. “You couldn’t have known.”  
  
“...I should have listened to Bow about that fucking stupid tea pot. If I had I wouldn’t have-”

“Oh yes, wonderful idea, when it started whistling I could have woken up from what might have been a very pleasant sleep.”

Catra jerks her hands free with a scowl. “Don’t be so fucking **flippant** about this! If I’d been here this wouldn’t have happened!”

If she had any energy, Glimmer knows that this seed of discomfort would have been full blown defensiveness. They both have a bad habit of ignoring their problems and trying to hand wave them away.

“I’m not trying to be. Catra, I would have had the nightmare regardless of where you were. And honestly? When I woke up, the first thing I did was check to see if you were asleep or not. If you’d been asleep, I wasn’t going to wake you up.”

Catra roughly runs her hands through her mane, claws scratching as she tugs at her hair a few times. Glimmer winces but keeps her mouth shut, that’s a conversation for another day. 

“You should always wake me up if you need me,” Catra’s gaze is firm as her eyes fill with tears. “That’s what I want you to do. That’s what I want.”

And she knows that. She does. Fuck. “...I know. I’m sorry, I just- you deserve to get some sleep too.”

“Yeah, and if I found out you had a panic attack and didn’t wake me up, how great do you think my sleep would be for the next few weeks?”

Glimmer winces, wraps her arms around herself in a half hug as she drops her head to stare at the floor. She hadn’t thought about that. How would she feel if Catra told her she’d had an anxiety attack and didn’t wake her up? Sure, Catra would get up if she couldn’t sleep or have a bad dream. But a panic or anxiety attack? After Glimmer told her to always wake her up, she had.

She doesn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.”

The silence is painful, the night so quiet that when Catra sighs, she can hear it crystal clear. “Just...try to think about it, if this, you know…”

“Okay.” She watches as Catra’s feet cautiously shuffle into view.

“Okay. Can I…?”

Glimmer isn’t sure what exactly Catra is asking, but the way her toes and hind claws are flexing lets her know just how nervous her wife is. How much she wants this or needs this. So she forces her head up, makes herself meet Catra’s uncertain gaze. “Of course.”

Her face fills with relief, hands lifting to gingerly cradle Glimmer’s face as she kisses her.

It’s firm even if a bit flighty, and Glimmer easily kisses her back. When they part she gets a thrill of fear in her chest and Glimmer pulls her back into a much rougher version, lets her desperation and fear go, tries to shove all her love into Catra.

Catra’s pupils blow wide, her tail is still stiff from the nerves but now the tip flicks erratically as her hands drop to grip hard on her waist. Kneading into the soft flesh there as her motions get sloppier and rougher. For a moment Glimmer doesn’t care. She doesn’t care that she’s kissing Catra because she thought she’d lost her. Doesn’t care that Catra is showing signs of distress as she clings desperately onto her. Doesn’t care that they’re shuffling awkwardly towards the bed, where she knows if she let’s Catra lead, they’ll end up having sex- and for a moment it even sounds like a good idea.

But she knows it’s not. 

She never feels better when they do this, and Catra’s admitted that afterwards she feels like she’s forced herself onto Glimmer. It’s an old habit from when they’d find some comfort in one another back on the ship. They needed it then, but now it’s not helpful to them. It’s not a good way to cope with their issues because it makes them both feel worse, and that becomes a perfect storm where they’ll ignore their issues and one another to avoid feeling even worse than they do.

So even though it feels wrong, Glimmer stops them at the edge of the bed. Pulls back and puts a hand on Catra’s chest to signal her to stop. Catra whines, the noise high pitched but doesn’t move. She gives them space, backing up slightly so they can both catch their breath. 

Before Glimmer can figure out what to say, Catra whimpers, “Can we at least cuddle?

She responds by half jumping on Catra, wrapping her arms and legs around her on instinct as they overbalance and fall onto the bed.

There’s a split second of silence before Catra barks out a nearly hysterical laugh. “I said cuddle, not grapple!”

“Fighting is flirting right? So logically-”

Catra pitches her voice obnoxiously but doesn’t try to get out of Glimmer’s hold, “Logically!”

“Grappling is, like, a very aggressive hug!” She doesn’t care that her arm and leg are getting crushed and are definitely going to go numb in a few minutes. She feels lighter as her energy finally shifts into something positive. From fear to anger to guilt to lust to starlight. Catra’s tail thumps wildly on the mattress, bouncing off it and hitting her on her backside. “Are you **trying** to pat my ass, ‘cause, you know, you can just go for it.”

“You know I don’t have fine control of it!” Catra huffs, reaching back awkwardly to try and hug her too before whining, “I can’t hold you like this.”

Glimmer can’t help but tease her a little bit, “Needy!” 

She still lets go so they can actually tangle together comfortably, only pausing to give Catra one more chaste kiss before settling in.

They don’t get anymore sleep, but Glimmer still feels better when they get up to start the day.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feel free to send me prompts over on my tumblr [(Nny11writes)!](nny11writes.tumblr.com)


End file.
